 caffeine princess ♬ lunchbox adventurer ❀ little rose
Hogwarts: 1996
Selective Letters From Ava:
9/7
I've never written in a diary before. Now that class has started, Professor McGonagall thinks it's a good idea that I start. So that I can organize my thoughts, I suppose. Dumbledore agreed. Professor Slughorn didn't really have an opinion. Just that if Dumbledore said it was a good idea, then it must be. I'm not so sure about that. The man is getting old.
Today was the last day of our first week back. Beatrice and Roxy were pleased to see me, though it's incredible how people change over the summer. I guess it's because of all this talk about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Even Draco seemed to be more worn and older looking. His skin is sallow. His hair is lank. That's what war does to people. But what kind of a war is this?
Professor Slughorn has stopped helping me with my box since my last visit. I don't see him much now, other than in class. He did ask me to a dinner party of his, though. I think I'll be going. To be entirely honest, I don't know what to do with this box any more. It refuses to open. Obviously, there is a way in. But nobody will tell me. I've been wanting to ask Draco to help me, but he's been preoccupied-- even in the first week of school. I wonder what he's up to sometimes. He can't have that much homework.
I'm going to tell you right off that I don't like this journal idea. Not one bit. It's just something else for me to keep track of. Something else to worry about-- I don't want anyone to find it. If anything, it's raising my stress levels. I've been sleeping a lot lately. It seems to be the only thing that gets my mind to calm down. I want to stop thinking. I want to relax. I want that stupid box to open up. I want to meet my father.
10/8
It seems like life has been very confusing lately, and being confused has left me feeling more alone than ever. Though I do have classes with the second year Slytherins, I still have to sit with the twelve year olds from my own house, and sitting with somebody in class has become such a rare occurrence anymore that I don't even begin to expect it. I don't see Draco much at all, since he always seems to have run off somewhere with more important matters to tend to. I catch him whispering to people sometimes. He doesn't like to make eye contact to much of anyone. In fact, I can't remember when the last time we spoke was.
Even in the evenings I don't have anybody to talk to, since I've been moved back into the Gryffindor dormitory. I stay up late, and admittedly, get much more work done. I will say that my grades have been better this term. The bushy haired prefect smiles at me sometimes. She's a bookworm, I think. She must applaud my studious change in character.
I catch that dark haired friend of her's sneaking out some nights. I don't know what he's up to, but nobody seems to want to stop him. Then again, I don't think anybody sees him leave besides myself. I have half a mind to tell Professor McGonagall, but that would just write me up as a rat. Honestly, I'm so bored and alone anymore, that I don't really care.
The only things I've got worth my time are this (unfortunately), my box (which still refuses to do anything), and the "Slug Club" dinners Professor Slughorn invites me to every so often. Last I saw Draco, he seemed fairly upset that he wasn't invited to the dinners. I don't see why he's so upset, it's mostly a bunch of losers anyways. Including the bushy haired prefect and her dark haired friend. The red haired one I always see them with is never invited, which makes me chuckle, despite myself. I know I shouldn't, but he really seems so aggravated by it that I just can't help myself. It's sometimes good to know that other people hurt too.
12/18
Everybody's headed off for Christmas break tomorrow. I can't say I'm excited in the least, to be entirely honest. I'll just be alone through the holiday since everybody's going home. I suppose Dumbledore's got something planned... I really hope he does. Then I won't be on my own the entire time. I might go explore the castle some while I'm here, and maybe visit the house elves. I've been working on a 'thank you' card for them- it has drawings and beads and I even got the bushy haired prefect to help me charm it so the letters light up when it's opened! I'm so proud of it. I really hope they like it.
I really don't have much else to say, except that last night was Professor Slughorn's Christmas dinner. The food was nice, and he even had a few old friends come visit. There was a real vampire and the entire night he kept staring at me. Professor told him to bugger off, and he told me not to worry about it. Honestly, it freaked me out a bit. But they left eventually, so I suppose it was alright in the end.
I think I'm going to do myself a favor and put this wretched thing away for a while. Or at least until break is over. I need to save my hands for the ridiculously long essay Professor Snape wants finished. I swear, that man is out to get me. But maybe he's just out to get everybody. I feel sorry for him sometimes.
I wonder what he's doing for Christmas...
Last edited by Zoom; 07-19-2011 at 10:17 PM.
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